Table for one, please.
Moving to the city during the COVID Pandemic has been, as expected, a challenge to my self worth and self being. I love living in the city however I will admit, I have struggled! And I’ve struggled alone.
Some will say why not reach out, why not express how you feel but to be honest that is the most difficult aspect of it all. I am, a social butterfly and I enjoy going out and being amongst people, but no matter how many people surround me, I’m forever alone. I’m not complaining about the topic, I’m highlighting that some of us are naturally lonely people.
COVID has made this aspect of my life even more difficult, as prior to the dreaded infection, I would go to a local bar, possibly and probably a gay bar, and have a drink on my own, and who knows actually meet and speak to others in the bar. However, with all the booking and restrictions in place this has made a massive impact on us soloist.
I’d love to be able to walk into my local bar and grab a drink and sit and watch the world go by, but having to book a table for 6 when you are on your own is not only daunting but also has a rather negative effect on ones mental health, namely my dreaded anxiety.
The LGBTQ community, traditionally has been a close knit group of individuals from all aspects of our rainbow filled society, but I can’t help feel that due to all the current restrictions in place, this has negatively impacted our family, especially those people who are lonely, and of course not forgetting our elderly.
If COVID has done anything, it has given us the time to think and reflect on our lives and our community, whilst highlighting all the pros and cons of our past and current lives, hopefully in order for us to amend our future selves for the best.
People often ask me how and why am I always on my own when they see me out and about, or when I post things on my social media. The truth is, I am! And probably it’s my own fault as I don’t let people get too close to me.
A lot of issues, as I’ve grown to accept myself and understand my life experiences, comes from the negative impact of those who have briefly come into my life. They have been and thankfully gone, but they have unfortunately left a small scar on my well-being.
Thankfully, I fully believe that this can be healed over time, but we must, never forget how and why those scar were developed in order for us NOT to make the same mistake again.