• Aled Rees

Opposites don’t always attract! Part 1

Tinder has a lot to answer for, and yes! even the gays use tinder to meet other potential dates, and when I say dates, I mean dates, not the same antics allocated to the joys and misery of Grindr.

Slide left, sorry but not today Satan! Slide right, hello Papi! I think this is self-explanatory.

If you think about it, Tinder, no matter gay straight or whatever your sexual preference is, it is a very judgemental dating platform. We look at a picture, possibly read some of the profile detail then make an instant judgement on a person without truly knowing them.

Attraction is and will always be a very important part of a relationship, as wrong as it may sound, however, if you don’t fancy your partner from day one and base it all on their personality etc then I don’t truly feel this is enough, well not for me anyway, but that’s me, everyone is different and that’s what makes life wonderful.

I digress, I joined Tinder, and had a few matches, WTF, the excitement was an understatement, especially as I had very low self-esteem when it came to the dating scene.

I messaged a few of the matches, one or two replied, the others didn’t! Why, I don’t know? But then I had a Hi, from this moderately handsome, English chap who lived near Cardiff.

I should add at this stage that I had some, at this time of my life, some weird dating requirements, one was being I wanted a boyfriend who was not welsh!

I know this is extremely weird, a traitor to my own kinsmen, however, I just wanted someone different! Plus, if I wanted to talk about them then I could use my native tongue.

I also wanted someone who wasn’t in the arts, had no interest in theatre or acting, had very different hobbies and interests from me, so basically the complete opposite to me.

Opposites attract, apparently? Well, this wasn’t the case for me.

Mr opposite and I spend a lot of time chatting over tinder, things progressed, and we shared each other’s mobile numbers.

Coincidentally one summer day, we were both working in Swansea, unsure if fate was trying something out here on me, but he was literally down the road and this was now the opportunity for us to both meet.

I bit the bullet, and so we decided to go and grab a coffee, my nerves were now at their all-time high. My heart was racing, I was excited but equally on edge, cue clumsy me!

To make matters worse before I actually met him, I had to carry all my equipment and banners from an event I was promoting to my car which had to be miles away from the event.

Being me, I decided to make this a one journey task, standard male attitude. Walking across Swansea Bus Station like a Himalayan donkey to my car, who was walking towards me, yes it, you guessed it, it was Mr Opposite.

Red in the face, and covered in bags we finally met, face to face.

In all fairness to him, he offered to help, but I couldn’t allow this, I was a man and I must be strong lol as much as I was struggling I remained strong and cool under both physical and mental pressures.

I got to the car, he had a cheeky cigarette, and we walked to the nearest coffee shop.

He wore a grey suit, shirt and tie and smelt amazing, and to add the attraction he was finally tall, I don’t know why but I was a 6 Ft 2 gent every date I had previously been with hobbits. Was it love at first sight? I don’t know but at that stage, I fancied him more and more each time we spoke over our coffees.

We walked back to our cars, wished each other a safe journey and that was the end of the date.

No kiss, no hug!

What was going on here?

Did I read this date wrong?

Within minutes he messaged me.

My heart stood still as I pondered if I should read the message.

I prepared myself for the worst, rejection had now become my middle name.

“Fantastic meeting you, really hope we meet up again soon! Ps I wished I kissed you before leaving”

What the actual F@$k!

Did I finally meet someone?

Someone that I fancied and ticked every box I had?

The messages continued to go back and forth, flirting was now at its highest and I was loving life.

That weekend I was working at Swansea’s first Pride event, promoting the charity I was currently working for plus as a proud and out homosexual I believe we all should support and embrace our local and national pride events.

We joked about him coming to the Pride event, and I didn’t think anything of it at the time. The event was in full flow, I was busy chatting with people from various communities.

I looked across the room, and there he was, with his big cheeky smile, he had come to support me at work.

At this time my best friend was standing next to me at the event and I had not mentioned a single word about him.

He walked right up to me and kisses me! In front of my friends and general jo blogs!

Normally I would be horrified about a situation like this as public form of affection was, at the time, not ok with me, well I, to be honest, I hadn’t had the opportunity to be affectionate in public, however in for a penny in for a pound and all that jazz.

Could this be the beginning of an actual relationship?

Did I meet Mr Right?

Was I falling for him?

Questions were whirling around my head however I ignored them all as I stared at this man, the man I had been finally looking for.

Thing were going amazingly well for both of us, however cracks in his personality began to show, yet I was willing at the time to ignore these as I was head over heels for him.

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