I'm far from perfect but I'm honest
As the title suggests, I am far from perfect! If anything I’m constantly flawed by the dreadful mistakes I have or may have made, if anything, I have always learnt from my mistakes, whilst always ensuring that I remain honest!
Honestly, I have been Honest!
I started this blog to express my inner struggles, whilst also sharing my experiences with others who may have found themselves in the same situations that I have and or had found myself in.
At no stage did I or have I written these blogs as a form of sympathy, these are my views and my views alone. They are designed to express myself through creative writing and in turn, the blogs are a form of entertainment for my readers.
Naturally, as a writer, I have adapted and dramatised some of the blogs that I’ve written and this is purely so the content is engaging whilst also keeping the storyline as real and true as possible.
I’ve also ensured that I never named and shamed not attacked anyone’s character in my blogs, hey, I’m free to write about my life experiences as they are mine and mine alone to share with whomever I wish.
Some, not all of my content, is about the dark side of dating and my Life, however, it has played an important part in my life, the way it has shaped my future goals and life path.
I will add that even to this very day I struggle with trusting men due to the issues I’ve experienced, which in the long-run has ensured my continual and constant single lifestyle.
I was inspired to write this blog from a recent email sent to me from an Ex-partner who felt that I had written a blog about him. I must admit, I read the email, then deleted it without stooping to his level by responding.
How egotistical of him to assume that it was about him, however, I will neither confirm nor deny that the blog may or may not have been inspired by his actions. And yet again, to clarify, none of my blogs were or are designed for sympathy or a mass pity party gathering for little old me, they are my views of the circumstances I had found myself in.
My blogs, yes, have been dramatised yet still have the truth and my views of the events that happened to me, and that is the gospel truth.
I reiterate, I am not perfect and I have suffered from tremendous mental health issues brought up by my being mistreated by others, mistreated by those who I thought loved me and also those who I trusted and called my employer.
I’ve never tried and strayed away from facing my mental health if anything I have always noted this in my blogs, it’s not a secret.
My last relationship drove me to become the psycho ex, I kept on messaging and phoning him, I began to hound his friends who eventually blocked me from all social media platforms.
To be ignored and belittled is cruel, it’s a harsh method of dealing with another human being when trying to clarify the end of a relationship, we all need closure. I won’t lie, my messages to my ex became somewhat unhinged! I hated him.
I hated him for what he had turned me into and the way he treated me! Yet in the eyes of his friend, who I may add, were all lovely but unfortunately, I burnt those bridges with them after my constant messaging, yet they only knew his side of the story!
A friend of mine always says, there are 3 sides to every story; Your side, their side and the fucking truth! So don’t judge the actions of a desperate man who wished to be heard by the tales of the other parties involved, yet, to be honest, I really don’t care what any of them think or thought of me as it clearly wasn’t meant to be!
I look at that stage of my life as a time where I clearly was not ok. Not ok mentally and not ok emotionally.
A broken heart will drive a man to do desperate and truly cringe-worthy actions however a broken heart and a broken mind will drive a man to pure Insanity.
It’s strange to say that I had a broken heart from a man who was clearly not suited to me yet drove me to a mental breakdown, yet it was the truth at the time.
I for one have no feelings or emotions towards him, I, in fact, hope he finds someone who suits his lifestyle better than I did, we were complete and utter opposites.
We were each other biggest mistakes.
My blogs are me being me, being able to open up about the internal monologue that envisages my mind whilst also ensuring that I have a creative platform to express myself.
It will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and the content I write will never be liked by all, especially my ex-partners, however, I will add, I’ve never named any of them, never named and shamed, never stated who I’ve written about and to be quite frank never really attacked them or their character.
The blog, if anything has ensured that I have highlighted the mistakes from both parties, that neither one of us is perfect, especially me.
I deal with life one day at a time.
I wake up, get my work done, work out and try to be happy with what I’ve got around me and the fabulous friend and family I have that support me. I won’t lie and say I do this all by myself without the little help of prescribed medication, but I truly owe a lot to fluoxetine.
I’m not condoning that prescribed medication can cure mental health but for me, it keeps me stable, it takes the edge off my initial anxiety and depression and gets me through the day.
Having faced 2 main mental breakdowns in my life, due to various events, I ensure that from now on I am only surrounded by positivity and as part of this new path in life, blogging has helped.
I live alone, so I do t have that day to day interaction with a loved one, I don’t have that emotional support system that people who are in relationships have, and so that’s where blogging has been a lifesaver.
It’s a hobby that is also a form of self-counselling, interactive self-help if you will, but the most important thing is that it works for me. Writing has saved me and has shaped my future, and I think that’s a wonderful thing.
If you are struggling, and are looking for a method of expressing yourself then consider writing. This doesn’t have to be a blog like mine but it could be a notebook or a diary.
Justaled started off as a scrapbook, a scrapbook that I bought in an old French market many years ago whilst I travelled to Europe. I began to write about how and what I felt throughout my life experiences.
It may sound selfish, and to be honest, I don’t really care, but it was mine and mine alone to write.
I somewhat an extrovert, but also as a Piscean, I have that need to help and share my story with others, in a creative and naturally dramatic fashion, and that’s how my blog was developed.
Write for you!
And if you want to share your tale then share it! It may help others who have been in your shoes but think they are alone.
And just a side note, I’ve never said I was a victim, I never started this blog as a platform for sympathy. This is my view of events If my life.
I was never a victim but I am a survivor who has a story to tell.